I've accomplished more than it feels. I have a ton more to do. I've fought off most of the dragons but now I have to rebuild the empire. I have to decide what needs to be destroyed. I need stronger coffee.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
So I just write. Right or not. (purging thoughts) (Facing a Bully)
So here it is. I was told "they will come out of the woodwork", I just had no idea how quickly nor did I realize how angry and entitled the greedy asses could be.
I didn't give enough to the greedy foundation apparently. I was now informed that I should buy them a house. That money doesn't earn that much interest anyways, and do I expect to just save it for my whole life? Well, ah Yes. And not only that, I want it to grow and enable ME and my 5 children and 3 grand children for once. Well if i don't want to buy the house then I should at least travel to another city and pay their self inflicted debt. At least. I answered NO in 6 different ways during the first approach. I got woke up early on a Sunday morning and heard the desperate pitch. It didn't go anything like "Please" or "I am just so needy" etc. But it was how I NEED to. He stated that I don't need help in 2 weeks "I need it now or tomorrow". I played along and asked some questions. Got short answers. So I asked, if the house is worth it, how about I buy it and do some owner carry thing for you? "Oh noooo no shit like that!" he answered. "I will have you paid back in 10 months" So I had to ask why he was in debt to begin with then? What would change by then that would insure me my money back? ( he already said I wouldn't make any on this loan that I'd be helping him only) He told me money changed me and that I had an attitude lmao. So the following Sunday the same thing only more extreme for 5 hours of my day.
I have to say, I would have jumped at a chance for some owner carry or anything that would have helped me own a home with good terms. No interest? OMG I would have seen that as a dream come true. But not him. Not Mr champagne taste on a generic beer budget (and he extorts the money for even that)
I owe this person nothing. In fact, this person who I will call Satan, owes me. It's all coming back to me why I ditched him. More than ever and all at once. It's like I'm in shock although I once knew. I just had gotten so far past that ugly phase in my life. That dark chapter. Here it is. And if memory serves me right, since he went through charm, begging, pleading, demanding ( and back and forth between these), humor, anger, yelling and back to sweet bs, next will be the bullying (as if 5 hours of this shit doesn't already classify as this) and possible physical attack. He wants money and only fools like me work for it or go without it. He is broke but always has his beer and smokes. Emotional manipulation. At least I'm aware of it but it did nothing to get me out of the weak trance I was in as I sat there in disbelief while he wouldn't take no for an answer. Yesterday, I was to go pay some court fee for him. I didn't of course. I was to wake early and get him out of this mess (not an actual quote).
Wow.
I've tried to be civil and I have been extremely fair. Now I realize, it was a mistake. With him you have to be stern and not let anything slip by (nip it in the bud). I had forgotten this. A friendly hello and he wants more. He will harass me again and I have to be up to the fight when I tell him NO again. If I convince him, I have to be ready to swing. When I make it clear, there will be no turning back and to be honest, I'm kind of old, fat and my back hurts. If I bring a crowbar to the door I'll have to use it as he will charge at the sight of it. If I don't, he will appear in my kitchen like he did last Sunday when he pushed his way past my daughter into the house.
How in the hell did I get so nice?
Actions speak louder than words and I Know what I won't do, and that is give into his harassment. But I can't get back those two Sundays or that first initial meeting either. I was wrong for not Kicking him out immediately or at least laughing in his face.
Now is now. I can't say as though I'm ready for him but I do have somewhat of a plan. A while back,
I paid his electric bill since he is an old joke and I thought it would be nice if he had lights so he could visit with his grand kids etc. I bought him ciggys and beer so he wouldn't spend the electric money. I did this for him. He didn't really ask (he hinted). It wasn't enough, it only made him want more. It made him like a mad dog thirsty for blood. He got a taste.
Now his mutt ass can starve to death. I don't really care. I just have to make up my mind to go mid-evil on his ass. Saying no wasn't enough. He plans to keep working on me so to speak.
He has gone through more money in his lifetime and pissed it away then I may ever see in mine. I'm a saver. Sure I'll shell out on something I need or want real bad once in a blue moon, but it's a well thought out purchase. I have something to show for it. I hold tight and cut loose when I need to. I was unemployed for a year and didn't go broke until the final 2 months. This was done after a low paying job. Difference is---I save. Although the saving was supposed to grow and then be invested-when I was without income, it sure came in handy. Rainy day as it were.
He spends and then cons and bullies for more. He's got all he is going to get out of me. Well, he may get a little more than he bargained for--we'll both see.
What I didn't work for I went without. I tried not to pester or burden anyone. I slept well as a result.
Perhaps that is what I will tell him "Satan, you are pestering me, you're fired!" lol
It really is so simple yet disturbing at the same time. With someone like him your head spins. He goes from tactic to tactic minute to minute. Although you know his strategies, they almost confuse you as they are intended to I'm sure. I could easily see someone caving in and saying "here, now go away" But no. He can't guilt me not when he owes child support and is lucky I never got him locked up etc. I am not his keeper nor elder. He is older than me and has had many financial successes that he lost due to his squandering, greed and other poor decisions.
Audacity.
But that is what I lack I suppose. He has used this all his life and admits it. I guess he needs less and I need more. Having too much holds him back and not having enough holds me back. Interesting. But not really helpful for either of us right now.
What would be useful is an advocate. A big one with a billy club and Audacity.
My head is spinning as it is without this added grief anyways. I have two households to manage and worries of my own. Really, how dare he? I'm glad I had this talk with blogger.
Satan, it was wrong of you to ask, much less insist, and I hereby cut you off. You are of no interest to me and you should ask your wife to help you. You are at the time of your life when you could just live off your little income and take it easy. All that beer is probably no good for your mooching ass anyways. I'm doing you a favor. Fly, be free.
It amazes me, the polished platinum people who begrudge one their rusty tin. By Sue
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